This post is dedicated to this man. I love you.
Technically, our one year anniversary is on Sunday.
However, we’ll be traveling to celebrate the love and marriage of another couple, so we’ll celebrate this post two days early!
I’m going to start by talking about my recent hair color appointment.
Don’t be confused just yet, I promise it will connect.
I knew I was going to write a blog post for our one year anniversary since I love sharing life with the world. But, to be honest, I didn’t know how to write something different than the traditional lovey-dovey posts you may see for couples. Not that there’s anything wrong with lovey-dovey, believe me. I love lovey-dovey. But I also like to write about small instances in life that make me realize things about the bigger picture. I like to write to evoke thoughts, feelings, and action. I like to write to allow others to feel something…even if they’re in a different stage of life.
Back to the hair color.
I got my hair colored (nothing unusual, just blended the current color and toned it down a bit) and about 1/2 an inch cut off. To be fair, not that much different.
However, I noticed it EVERY.TIME.I.LOOKED.IN.THE.MIRROR. A few days later and I’m still noticing it. Then, I saw someone walking out of a hair place yesterday looking at their hair and tossing their fingers through it. They were noticing the subtle differences in their hair, too.
It made me realize something. I was able to see such a subtle change in myself. But how many big things was I missing out on noticing?
The truth is, naturally we are all pretty selfish. This isn’t an insult. I think it’s a fact.
In marriage, selfishness creates a hostile environment. It creates an unfair relationship, and an uneven playing field.
This subtle hair made me realize something. How many subtle differences in our relationship went unnoticed to me because I was focusing on myself? How many huge differences in Bryce went unnoticed to me because I was focusing on myself?
Naturally, here’s where my thoughts come in. I started thinking back on the past year. We’ve dealt with a lot. We have dealt with a move, two job changes, one job loss, one job quitting (is that word?), a new dog, and endless small changes like learning how to budget.
I’m not the same girl Bryce fell in love with. I’m a little louder, a little more emotional, and in a WHOLE different job role. I’ve changed my hair countless times, I change my style every few months, and I eat way too many snacks causing us to buy at LEAST two bags of sourdough hard pretzels a week (I blame you, Gaelyn, for this addiction). Of course I realize these things. Because I’m kinda selfish, remember?
Bryce isn’t the same guy I fell in love with either. He’s better. He’s stronger. He’s in a new job role. He’s our supporter. He’s gracious. He’s even more kind. He deals with insecurities. He plays way too much Fortnite. He watches Facebook videos with the sound on too loud. He has the horrifying and annoying ability to only eat three oreos and then stop…I mean, COME.ON.
He’s even better.
Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I don’t notice this.
Sometimes I’m too focused on myself or what I have going on to notice his struggles. Sometimes I fail to notice when he leaves work a little early so he can pick me up flowers on his way home. Sometimes I fail to notice how obsessed he is with our dog even though he’s the one who was scared I’d love the dog more than I’d love him (which is a hilarious thought). He’s the one who deals with photo shoots not because he loves them, but because he loves me.
He’s my partner.
This year has been a whirlwind, but he has been a constant.
This is my challenge to myself to notice more about the big picture.
Now here is where I challenge you: what are you not noticing? It’s never too late to make a mental shift and begin to notice the little things you may let go.
I love you, Bryce Owen Johnson.
Here’s to many more years with you by my side.
Photos by the amazingly talented Paige Baranik. If you have instagram, give her a follow. Her ADORABLE baby girl is reason enough! She went to CNU and her husband was in the same fraternity as Bryce. Ever since I started seeing her photos pop up on my timeline, I knew we had to snag a session. She is just as talented as she is sweet, and I am so thankful for her for capturing these anniversary photos for us in our new home. Can we just go ahead and book her for every year in the future!? Here’s her info!